If you've found this article, I have to assume that you aren't just looking to "get a guy," or "attract a guy," etc. Instead, I'd be willing to bet that you're looking to find a long term soul mate with whom you can be in the ultimate, committed relationship (marriage.) You probably already suspect that the process of finding a mature, good man who is marriage material with whom you will be happy to spend the rest of your life is very different from finding a man to date or just hang out with. This is not some ordinary guy you are looking for. This is your soul mate or "the one," and it can seem like a very tall order or difficult process, but it doesn't have to be this way and you can learn a lot about yourself in the process. This article will explain the right way to find a husband.
To Find A Husband, First You Need To Find (And Intimately Know) Yourself: I can already hear you groaning, but please hear me out because I know this to be true both from personal experience and through my research.
It's very difficult to find a husband who will make you happy for the rest of your life if you don't have a very strong handle on who you are and exactly what it takes to make you happy. Most women make the mistake of thinking or assuming that bells and sirens will go off when their future husband walks through the door or that they will "know him when they see him."
While this sounds good in theory, I so often see women who attract the wrong men over and over. Or, they let someone who would make them blissfully happy slide right through their fingers without a second glance because they are unaware of what they really want and need in a husband.
Many women make the mistake of thinking they have a "type," when what they really have is a personality with whom they have many failed relationships and keep repeating this process trying to "right" the train. I know from my own experience that I was attracting men who were all wrong for me because I was trying to fix and work out the same relationship over and over again.
This kind of stubbornness and ignorance about what would make me happy rather than frustrated wasted much time and created a lot of negative feelings and self esteem issues. Thank goodness I learned that it was high time for serious change.
Once You're Clear On What You Want, Accept (and Attract) Nothing Less: I have learned that once you work on yourself and what you really want (this takes some serious soul searching and work, but it is so worth it) a strange thing happens. You will start to attract the men who fit the bill and you'll more easily spot (and can then discard) the men who fall short.
And, I firmly believe you should weed through and purge those who obviously fall short. I'm talking about men who are selfish, abusive, immature, and self centered and who place you and your needs last from the start. (I used to think I could change this type of men or "love them through it.") I've learned that you shouldn't waste your time with these men or think you can "change him." See and understand that he is not marriage material, (but many men are) and move on.
While you should always give any decent, well meaning, and sincere man a fair chance, it's also not fair to allow a man (and yourself) to waste his time or misplace his efforts when you just know he isn't ultimately the man you are going to marry (if what you are truly looking for is a husband.)
Many women make the mistake of just hanging out or casually and serially dating men they know they aren't going to marry which is really just wasting the time they could spend with their future husband or soul mate.
That said, often long lasting, committed relationships take time to develop, so don't make the mistake of outright rejecting someone with whom you have compatibility, affection, and a similar world view just because they don't want to get married tomorrow, which leads me to:
Don't Let Your Agenda To Find A Husband Get Married Show And Scare Your Soul Mate Off: The biggest mistake I see women make is looking for a husband rather than looking for a soul mate. What I mean by that is that some women get in such a rush to walk down the aisle that they get tunnel vision toward any man willing to marry them.
I am pretty sure that what you really want is a loving, committed, mature relationship which will eventually naturally lead toward marriage. So, look toward the man first and the marriage as a distant second that you will address later down the road. It doesn't make any sense to get married at all cost just so you can be married and eventually divorce because you are incompatible.
Such desperate behavior leads to traits that are very unattractive and "high maintenance" to a man - clinging, being needy, pressing for a commitment too soon, etc. Even if a man "is the one," loves you more than life itself, and would marry you in the future, this clingy behavior could well scare him off.
Remember that if you are clear on yourself, your abilities, and your needs, you can often keep this behavior at bay by knowing that you yourself are whole, capable and happy - you are just looking for someone to share this with.
And, if you keep all these things in mind, I have no doubt that your future husband will present himself, you will act accordingly, and everything else will eventually fall into place.
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